Be Optimistic and be Your Own Lab Rat

By Ruby Chbeir

Be optimistic and be your own lab rat. Easier said than done, I admit, but trust me on that one; On 17^th December, 2014, I was blinded by excruciating pain, crippled by numbness in limbs, and could only hear panicked voices, instructions not to budge, and the sound of huge scissors cutting through my clothes.

I was run over by a car here in Cathays, Cardiff. 

However, more importantly than this pessimistic version of my true story, is how I, a vulnerable “international student” away from my Home, have successfully suppressed, even tamed all Negativity.

I am now surviving every single day of the traumatic aftermath stronger and more self-aware than I ever was in my life; I want you to be confident you can do the same, even if you don’t get as close to death as I did that night.

Faith: your ways will win, not life’s!

Google provides 205,000,000 search results for the definition of Faith; mine however, goes as follows:

Strapped to a stretcher in the middle of the road, bleeding, freezing cold, numb, and helpless, my only thought was:

“I know I’ll be alright.”

I was not scared and NO, I did not think of death, not even for 1 second.

I couldn’t understand it then, but now…

Faith is commonly referred to in the context of Religion, but the truth is, having Faith is knowing that life will only bring out the best in us, with every hurdle we unfold along the way.

It does not matter if you’re a Christian, Muslim, Druze, Buddhist, Taoist, Hindus, Jain, or Sikh, or belong to absolutely any other religion.

With Faith, we get the privilege to believe that there definitely is a “person, power, energy, or wisdom” mightier than the fragile human nature which will not let us down or alone, no matter how hard life strikes. 

That, my friends, is Faith; something we “must” all have to nurture Optimism, which in its turn triggers and binds us to resolve our troubles completely Confident that our own, “creative” ways, will be the right Recovery/Rebound Plan to every shock.

Today, 3 months after my tragedy and still in a slow recovery, the psychological trauma and physical challenges i am struggling with are beyond the comprehension of any one, even my closest and loved one(s).

Yet, they only make me more determined to find, by trial and error, what could get my engine working again, after cleaning up my internal insecurities, which no one can understand better than yourself. YOU must follow and listen to your own “gut feeling” because everyone can and will suggest “practical”, “reasonable” solutions for your dilemma(s). However, what I learned from swinging on the brink of death is: you have to think of “out-of-the-box” solutions because your brain has just faced something entirely different and unfamiliar.

Something changed in your ‘old life’ either because you wanted it to, or because you had no control over it, just like my accident, my pain, and my new lifestyle & capacity.

So, to overcome this physical & intangible change imposed, you have to let go of what you had; for instance, I am slowly letting go of what I looked like before I was hit by that car, as well as accepting my new morning routine consisting of countless hours of Physiotherapy, daily hospital appointments, and hourly doses of pain killers to numb my pain… 

The Cardiff Met Family: we are never, ever alone. Before I left the ER, a nurse asked me if I wished to contact family & tell them of my tragic accident.

I stumbled for words and felt the entire universe shrink with me in it. Within seconds, I could only explain that I was an “international student” studying in the UK; without further questions, the nurse nodded and disappeared.

I am certain, each one of us has experienced this exact feeling. It usually accompanies being homesick, nostalgic, lonely, and weak whenever we encounter the slightest hardship here, away from “Home”.

I spent that first night being monitored in the hospital, almost unconscious, but when I woke up, my legs, hands, and face were ever-more swollen, but more painful was my internal aching; I realized how everything around me was so intimidatingly unfamiliar. To top that, I had hid the news of my accident from my Family back home- scared that it might hit them hard.

At that moment, I couldn’t have felt more ignorant, alone, confused, afraid, and utterly lost for words. I was overwhelmed and bewildered by everything, until my friend arrived, and we immediately agreed she calls the only parents we had in Cardiff: the International Office at Cardiff Met.

We notified them of my accident and explained how we were struggling to understand everything: the procedures, treatments, medical advice, tests, and the entire health system bureaucracy.

I tell you this and from the heart:

No one was there for me, the way Cardiff Met’s representatives and higher Administration were.

Cardiff Met sent representatives on its behalf to the hospital right away. They sat with me, talked to me, fed me, cleaned me up, argued for me, soothed my concerns, and asked me what I wanted and preferred to do under the circumstances.

Simultaneously, the higher figures of the university were calling the hospital non-stop, talking to all my doctors, nurses, friends, and even the police and lawyers.

To sum it all up, they made all that seemed impossible to me, possible.

After hours of fighting for my well-being, Cardiff Met enabled me to understand my situation, how critical it was, and we agreed together that my best shot is to remain hospitalized until I sail on the road of a solid recovery.

I stayed in the hospital for 3 weeks, which felt more like 3 years. Yet, every day, I had one member of Cardiff Met visit my ward not only to see how I was progressing, but to follow-up with my doctors, explain, support, and help me sort every complication that came up here and with my parents back home.

They were even there when I had to give my approval on critical medical procedures for my knee, nose, and head.

The Cardiff Met Team had no obligation whatsoever to take me under their wing so preciously and whole-heartedly; after all, the fact is that I am just a student and a foreigner, who had joined an educational institution for a year here in the UK.

YET, the Cardiff Met Team appreciates and nurtures its own People, whether internal or external contributors. They were much, much more than a bureaucratic, administrative body. The Cardiff Met People form a Family; one that does not settle until it plants itself in the heart of each and every member who boards its home.

And for their continuous support, love and concern, I am forever indebted and grateful, truly.

Sincerely,

Ruby Chbeir